She has known pain that no one can truly understand. She has felt feelings that have wrapped her soul in despair, but she has always found a way to keep going. Not because she can but because she will not give up on herself.
Her pain throughout life has been entwined with times of intense joy that maybe were not that joyful to the people around her, but her soul knew those joyful times were kisses from Heaven. They were Gods way of showing her that if she keeps going, he will not fail her.
She would shed tears of gratefulness in those moments. She would embrace the sun shining on her tired face and soak it in. She would express herself in ways that really didn’t make sense to others, but in the end it did not matter because it was between her and God. She loved those secret moments and still does.
She knows God will fight for what she has lost. He will fight for justice. He will restore her peace, her joy and her dreams. She has faith. After all, when he entered her heart, she then knew where home was.
She wonders if she will ever feel completely whole because at times the pain comes flooding back in so heavy that she can barley stand! But, she has learned that to be clothed in pain does not mean that you have to wear those clothes for the rest of your life. Healing is a journey, it takes some a lifetime but the most important thing is that you keep taking steps towards the end goal. Being healed and whole.
After all of the grievances, all of the rejection, after all of the abuse, after feeling like a tattered doormat for people to wipe their dirty feet on, she rose.
She rose clothed in dignity. Unashamed of her past, knowing that talking about it would help others with their broken and lonely road. She felt empowered by something she had never experienced before, self worth.
With ever indignant act forced upon her, it was being replaced with love for her, love for self. Something that was and is denied to many. This was something she had never truly known. She had been taught that love was meant for others but love was not something she ever deserved.
She longed for true love but she had no idea that true love would be found within. Two souls connecting, yet always being defined as one. Her broken soul and her lost soul merging into one, the way it was always meant to be. It takes your breath away when you find, you. ~Joannie Rosevear